Everything looks good on the outside.

But on the inside, you’re barely holding it together.

Therapy for Identity-Based Stress and Relational Trauma in Boston and throughout the state of Massachusetts

When did you decide you mattered less than everyone else?

That it was your job to always be available, always be willing, and never have any needs of your own?

As a child, you were called mature, a good girl.

You were responsible for looking out for your siblings, cousins, maybe your grandma when she fell asleep while watching you.

Even the adults in your life confided in you, which, to be honest, made you feel special.

You began to anticipate the needs of others.

Sh*t, you were praised for it! And it felt good to be seen. To be trusted with so much.

Now you look around, and everyone you’ve been there for is good.

No one needs you anymore. They’ve learned to be self-sufficient, and you’re happy for them.

So why does it feel so… lonely?

Putting everyone else first is getting to be a lot.

In relationships, friendships – even at work – you make sure everyone around you has what they need because that’s what you would want in return.

How long are you willing to sacrifice yourself to be seen as a good person?

The sense of obligation is automatic, yet you don’t ever get the same in return. Not from friends or relationships. Definitely not at work.

How many times are you going to settle just because it’s better than being alone?

You stopped taking up space a long time ago.

In every room you’re in, the expectation is there. You can’t be you. Who you are is too much.

The complexities of being your full self have slowly led you to become really good at knowing who to be depending on where you are and who you’re around.

With your friends, your ability to vibe lights up the room.

But you’re careful who you let in on your most personal inner thoughts.

Dating is a mess.

Where are all the queer women of color in Boston anyway?

Your straight friends don’t understand the gay thing. Your queer friends are nice enough but lack understanding of why you can’t just “come out” and “live your life.”

The exhaustion of trying to keep everyone around you comfortable leaves little room for living the life you truly desire.

No one is coming to thank you.

Not for the extra burdens you’ve taken on or even the inappropriate responsibilities you had as a child.

You may have secret fantasies of being rescued, of finally being happy when…

Guess what?

The only person here to rescue you is you.

This is where you take back your life.

Allow yourself to feel all the feelings – the rage, sadness,
pain, and of course, JOY.

When your life has not been your own for so long, it can feel
uncomfortable allowing yourself to want or begin to take up space.

That’s where I come in.

Amy Santana, LMHC

Hi there! I’m Amy (she/her).

If you’re looking for a therapist who affirms all of who you are and understands your experience, that’s me.

I hold space for those who want to know themselves deeply and experience profound healing.

I’m a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the state of Massachusetts providing trauma therapy for womxn of color and QTBIPOC who experience anxiety in relationships.

Time and time again, I see women who settle for good enough when what they really want is actually not that far out of reach.

I want you to know that you are worthy of making space for what you need – and what you want.

You don’t have to keep pretending.

You’re so good at looking like you’re okay – even when you’re
not. But you don’t have to do it on your own any longer.

It’s time to stop compromising your wants and needs

and finally,

unapologetically,

say yes to YOU.